The Version Of Me That Lives Under Your Roof

Grey, 10th. Jackson, CA
You only see what I reveal to you

I have the perfect grades
Top of my class, future valedictorian
I hang out with the good kids
I don’t fight, or cause drama

You see me smiling in the pictures
Arms around those next to me, happy as always
I spend time with you, my family
I don’t point out your problems, I love you unconditionally 

But you don’t see me struggling

I can’t afford time to sleep because I have to keep my grades up
I stress out, I receive a B on an assignment and I do it over knowing I have to do better
I can’t connect with the good kids even though we have similar interests
they are innocent and they can’t see me, they just know I’m kind

You don’t see me crying at night
with no one around I fall apart, I turn to the quickest pain to remember I’m alive
you say you know everything about me, because I’m your daughter
But you only see the version of me that lives under your roof, the perfect little girl

I ask for help and you brush me off, saying “you can’t let hormones dictate your life”
But it’s not my fault that I don’t want to get up in the morning
You think that I don’t have problems, so let me tell you
You see the version of me that lives under you roof, but I left out the scars that you’ve given me