One Day

Brenda, 9th - Dublin, CA
I am a failure. I know I am.  At my age I should already have a successful career and stability, but here I am counting every single last dime. I am useless in this society and can offer nothing. I have no talents and too many dreams to chase. My time is ticking and my youth is leaving me, but I can not bring myself to get out of bed. My body is not what it used to be and I can’t help but flinch at the disgusting creature in the mirror. “Look at those ugly scars. Go cover up that lousy fat skin of yours.”

My head is full of doubts that haunt me each night. Bright blue, yellow and red lights panic me even though they are supposed to be my friends. Medical bills stack like pancakes that are too expensive to eat. No matter where I go all I hear is “You don’t belong here. Go back to your own country.” I can’t help but wonder, what am I doing here? All I have in this life are minimum slave-like wages and judging stares that tear my mind in four. The shame is too much to endure and I am too homesick to run forth. Here I am this run down bathroom; it doesn't matter if I am thinking straight. That thought doesn’t guilt me anymore.

“Mom!” Two little feet come through the door and those bright little eyes look right through me. I can’t form any words and my uncertainty turns into tears. She understands me just through a small glance without a single word.

“I-I-I just can’t do it anymore. I am just not strong enough.” I feel her two small hands wrap around me while she starts crying in silence.
“I have no one here and besides what hope do we have here?”
“You have me.  We'll make it out of here one day.”