LA ESTRELLITA

Alexa, 12th - Central Point, OR
The song “La Estrellita” reminds me of my abuelo. As a little girl, my grandparents visited us from Mexico a few times a year.  I was too young to remember many details of these visits.  One memory I held onto is my grandpa asking me to sing to him for a dollar. For what seemed like substantial compensation, I would sing and dance with gusto. As the years passed my grandparents’ health declined and they stopped visiting. I no longer had an incentive to sing “La Estrellita”, and for a bit, I lost my voice altogether. 

My eighth grade summer,  my parents forced me into a math-based summer program.  Being in this new environment led to butterflies in my stomach, and serious social anxiety, and I found myself completely friendless. Ironically, before I started camp, mom told me  “y no quiero que andes de chiva”. A social butterfly my entire life leading up to this point, my mother feared I would be too loud and talk too much; she never predicted that I would not talk at all.

After the first few days of the program, mom would ask; “how’d it go?” I answered something along the lines of “fine,” even though I hadn't uttered a word to anyone, not even the teachers. When the following week rolled around, I was more forthcoming when she asked the same question, “I don’t like it, and don't want to keep going”. Stunned by my answer, my mom spilled the frijoles to my whole family. For the next couple of weeks, my family bombarded me with questions.  And I started to question myself, “What’s wrong with me? Am I unlikeable?”. 

Every day during lunch, I would sit alone on the same step, far enough removed so that a teacher wouldn’t casually approach me, but just close enough to not get in trouble or draw attention to myself. I would spend every single second of that lunch period doom-scrolling on my phone. I had run out of things to look up, so I randomly (or through divine inspiration - or perhaps targeting) started watching ukulele videos on Instagram.  Although many of these performers were from far away lands I somehow related to them more than the other kids at the math camp. I looked up to them, learned from them, and, in some cases, even befriended them. For the next two weeks, I couldn’t wait for that doggone lunch period. 

I became fixated, and acquired my very own ukulele. On the weekends, I would film minute-long video clips of myself playing and singing, and upload and share them with my new friends, and ultimately the world at-large. For the first time in a while, I felt the urge to express myself with confidence and purpose, through words, song, and dance. Alexa had gotten her groove back.

Since then, I have delved deeply into studying and performing the ukulele, and expanded my interest in the arts; nowadays I perform in plays, paint, draw, and design. I see the arts as a way to express and draw inspiration within myself - and as a way to connect with others. I look forward to continuing artistic pursuits in college and in life. Wherever you are, thank you, abuelo, for igniting this passion through “La Estrellita.” Those dollars have paid great dividends.